Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s still here.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why is it that when the Democrats absolutely love everyone to be LGBTP, they don't even acknowledge that Barack Obama and his husband Big Mike are homosexual, and he is the first homosexual president of the USA?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I was tired of trying and failing.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

We now told, by Senator Grassley, that on the FBI form about the Biden bribery story, there is a Burisma exec who says he has 17 tapes of his deal with the Biden. 15 of Hunter and 2 of Joe Biden? What would this do to Hunter/Joe Biden if released?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are like me, then.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

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You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s here now, writing to you.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why does my 5-year-old daughter keep repeating the words 'they will come for us, they will find us and touch us'? I'm quite scared.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Be who you already are.

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And the sadness?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I had run out of hope.

Can I have a comfortable life as a nurse in Sweden? Can I buy a house and not worry about the cost of living?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Have you ever met someone and something seemed so unusual about them but you couldn't put your finger on what it was?

The sadness was still there.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Why do most Indian women cuckold or cheat on their husbands?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I was tired of fighting.

Why is Reagan seen as the best president in the USA when he literally destroyed the American economy with trickle down system and was strongly against worker unions?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.